Too Late
by Locked in a Stony Tower
Summary: This is Regulus' story of the day that Sirius left
1. Too Late

I watched the scene in my mind over and over again. Sirius, screaming at Mum, her screaming back, him screaming again, then turning to go back to his room. I started to come out of my hiding spot, then Mum went crazy, pulling out her wand, I can still hear her voice, to this very day, accusing and full of vile hatred,

"Get back here you filthy blood-traitor, come back and fight like a man, you call yourself a lion, but I call you a mouse, come back here and _fight" _

But he just looked back at her "I will not fight you mother, just let me leave"

"Stupid boy" she cackled "If you will not fight then I will have to punish you, _Cruico" _

I silently screamed 'no' as the torture curse hit my brother and he fell from the stairs, hitting his head on the bottom step, and then landed on the floor, writhing in helpless pain

I looked at my brother, seeing the pain in his grey eyes, so like mine, but his, still flashing bravely, but slightly uncertainly through the pain,

I looked him in the eye his locking with mine, he grimaced and mouthed, "Help me"

I told my body to move, ordered it, scolded it. But it stayed put. I slapped my face, pinched myself, I wasn't frozen. But when I tried to take a step towards my brother I froze, my feet refusing to move. 'Save Sirius' I ordered my body, my heart thumping hard in my rib cage. I was frozen, too afraid of my mother to stop her insanity.

And at that monument my heart sank, I was a slimy slippery git of a Slytherin, I slunk around ashamed on my stomach. I wasn't first born, I wasn't cool or popular, I was little Regulus Black, always following my betters. I wasn't bold like Sirius, or smart like his Lupin friend, or popular like that Potter kid, or even nice like Pettigrew (or nice like they thought he was). I was just annoying little Regulus, the only reason I was liked at all was because could chase a little worthless piece of gold and catch it before the other kid. And I couldn't always do that either. When I couldn't no one liked me. Not even myself, especially not myself. Not just because of the sport. I was just an unhappy kid who no one really liked.

I wasn't like my brother, I couldn't just be happy go lucky and not care what people thought, I couldn't be a player with a new girlfriend each week. I wasn't brave and I just couldn't ever be.

I looked at my brother again. He was almost fainting from the pain, blood was dripping from his nose and from several other gashes on his face and from other places as well, his whole left side was bathed in blood and his right leg stuck out at an odd angle.

"Reg" he groaned

But I couldn't help him. The sight of him, looking like that, all hurt, and my mother standing over him, a twisted happiness on her face made me sick, I turned my head and emptied my queasy stomach.

"Look Regulus, look at your blood traitor of a brother" my mother forced my face to look at his, the hurt and fear shinning both ways in our matching grey eyes, "do you want to end up like that?" she asked me, her snappy black eyes shinning a soft smooth oily color that burned through me.

"N-n-no" I stuttered

"Then be a good boy" she said throwing back her head in an evil cackle "Or, well, _Crucio" _

I turned away and ran upstairs, my stomach begging me to stop and heave again, I ran all the way to my room and opened up the window, letting the hot summer air then climbed on the roof and lost myself in the sunset. But I wasn't lost. I knew what my mother had done. I saw the way she tortured my brother, her own flesh and blood. Who cared what he thought about muggle misfits. I never called them mud-bloods, but to me they weren't quiet just ordinary wizards either. I pulled my robes around myself tighter and sighed looking out at the horizon. Letting down my guard for the first time in a long time, and just letting myself cry. When I went back into my room I hesitated then walked down the hall to Sirius' room.

_Knock, knock _

"Go away" came a muffled voice

"it's me" I said softly

There was a pause "Come in"

I opened the door and walked across the room to where Sirius was sitting on his bed. I stopped and sat down, looking anywhere but at him. I nervously played with the hem of my robes. I stood up, then sat down again and rubbed at a nonexistent speck of dirt on my too small shoes.

"For crying out loud Reg, if you have anything to say, say it!" cried Sirius exasperatedly, taking a piece of ice away from his left eye

I took a deep breath, going over what I was going to say in my mind "Well Sirius" I paused.

Then completely chickened out "Nope I got nothing, bye see yah"

The next morning he was gone

When I think of all the times I wanted to owl an S.O.S. to Sirius asking him to get me out but didn't, I feel completely stupid. Then I feel my arm burn and I almost cry. Because I can't go back. It's too late, it's too late.


	2. Chapter 2

Someone mentioned that i should have an alternet ending for this story, so that we could see what would happen if Regulus had talked to Sirius. This is what i imagined.

* * *

I watched the scene in my mind over and over again. Sirius, screaming at Mum, her screaming back, him screaming again, then turning to go back to his room. I started to come out of my hiding spot, then Mum went crazy, pulling out her wand, I can still hear her voice, to this very day, accusing and full of vile hatred,

"Get back here you filthy blood-traitor, come back and fight like a man, you call yourself a lion, but I call you a mouse, come back here and _fight" _

But he just looked back at her "I will not fight you mother, just let me leave"

"Stupid boy" she cackled "If you will not fight then I will have to punish you, _Cruico" _

I silently screamed 'no' as the torture curse hit my brother and he fell from the stairs, hitting his head on the bottom step, and then landed on the floor, writhing in helpless pain

I looked at my brother, seeing the pain in his grey eyes, so like mine, but his, still flashing bravely, but slightly uncertainly through the pain,

I looked him in the eye his locking with mine, he grimaced and mouthed, "Help me"

I told my body to move, ordered it, scolded it. But it stayed put. I slapped my face, pinched myself, I wasn't frozen. But when I tried to take a step towards my brother I froze, my feet refusing to move. 'Save Sirius' I ordered my body, my heart thumping hard in my rib cage. I was frozen, too afraid of my mother to stop her insanity.

And at that monument my heart sank, I was a slimy slippery git of a Slytherin, I slunk around ashamed on my stomach. I wasn't first born, I wasn't cool or popular, I was little Regulus Black, always following my betters. I wasn't bold like Sirius, or smart like his Lupin friend, or popular like that Potter kid, or even nice like Pettigrew (or nice like they thought he was). I was just annoying little Regulus, the only reason I was liked at all was because could chase a little worthless piece of gold and catch it before the other kid. And I couldn't always do that either. When I couldn't no one liked me. Not even myself, especially not myself. Not just because of the sport. I was just an unhappy kid who no one really liked.

I wasn't like my brother, I couldn't just be happy go lucky and not care what people thought, I couldn't be a player with a new girlfriend each week. I wasn't brave and I just couldn't ever be.

I looked at my brother again. He was almost fainting from the pain, blood was dripping from his nose and from several other gashes on his face and from other places as well, his whole left side was bathed in blood and his right leg stuck out at an odd angle.

"Reg" he groaned

But I couldn't help him. The sight of him, looking like that, all hurt, and my mother standing over him, a twisted happiness on her face made me sick, I turned my head and emptied my queasy stomach.

"Look Regulus, look at your blood traitor of a brother" my mother forced my face to look at his, the hurt and fear shinning both ways in our matching grey eyes, "do you want to end up like that?" she asked me, her snappy black eyes shinning a soft smooth oily color that burned through me.

"N-n-no" I stuttered

"Then be a good boy" she said throwing back her head in an evil cackle "Or, well, _Crucio" _

I turned away and ran upstairs, my stomach begging me to stop and heave again, I ran all the way to my room and opened up the window, letting the hot summer air then climbed on the roof and lost myself in the sunset. But I wasn't lost. I knew what my mother had done. I saw the way she tortured my brother, her own flesh and blood. Who cared what he thought about muggle misfits. I never called them mud-bloods, but to me they weren't quiet just ordinary wizards either. I pulled my robes around myself tighter and sighed looking out at the horizon. Letting down my guard for the first time in a long time, and just letting myself cry. When I went back into my room I hesitated then walked down the hall to Sirius' room.

_Knock, knock _

"Go away" came a muffled voice

"it's me" I said softly

There was a pause "Come in"

I opened the door and walked across the room to where Sirius was sitting on his bed. I stopped and sat down, looking anywhere but at him. I nervously played with the hem of my robes. I stood up, then sat down again and rubbed at a nonexistent speck of dirt on my too small shoes.

"For crying out loud Reg, if you have anything to say, say it!" cried Sirius exasperatedly, taking a piece of ice away from his left eye

I took a deep breath, going over what I was going to say in my mind "Well Sirius" I paused. Then said in a huge rush

"I'm not like you, I can't just stand up to Mother like that, I'm not brave like that and I really do love you, I mean, I'm not gay or anything just you're my brother and nothing can change that but I was just too scared of our Mother"

"_OUR _Mother" he scoffed "Even if I wanted to be her son she wouldn't let me"

"Sirius" I sighed "What are you going to do, leave? And at that, if she won't let you, then what's she going to do to you, I mean she's not a Deatheater, she doesn't have the authority to kill blood traitors"

"Oh, yeah, which one of you're _friends_ taught you that?"

"Malfoy, but what does that matter, don't change the subject, what do you think that you're going to do, you can't just _leave" _

Shit, that was my mistake, no one tells Sirius _can't _it just makes him even more determined to do it

"Get out of my room Reg, get out of my room, get out of my life!!" his voice was angry but shaking and tears welled up in his eyes

I turned to leave but at the last mounent turned around "Tell me what's wrong" I said, my voice shaking just as much, a sob catching in my throat

"No"

"Sirius" I walked over and touched his arm gently

"Leave!!"

I took five steps back away from him

"I bloody well will not leave"

"You bloody well better, sure as hell you better"

We must have looked ridiculous, standing there, shouting at each other, tears streaming down our faces, refusing to look each other in the eye

"I'm defiantly not leaving this room until you tell me what you're bloody problem is, so don't even try" I sobbed wiping my eyes, for the ……. only second time today, seems like so many more

Sirius pulled out his wand "I WILL hex you"

"It won't change a damn thing"

There's a difference between brave and stubborn

I looked him in the eye "Now tell me what's the matter"

"Reg" he sighed, putting away his wand "Someday you'll see how bad life is here compared to the life of people like Prongs"

"You're Potter friend?"

He nodded then completely broke down "I just can't take it any more Reg, I gotta get out, I'm sure as hell that if I stay here, I'll just, I can't do it Reg"

I walked over and sat down next to him. "It's okay Sirius, I'll be fine"

He looked up at me with tear stained eyes

"I know as well as you that I was the only reason you stayed this long, and I can last here, I don't want you to leave, but, if you don't you'll end up dead or worse in Azkaban" I felt another lump in my throat and started crying again

He put an arm around me and we sat there crying. Later at night we fell asleep on the floor, like when we were little and we pretended to be camping out. Except that we both knew that wasn't why we were there. We were brothers, but he couldn't stay, so it was good bye.

I woke up in the middle of the night, I felt something soft brush across my forehead and then heard Sirius' comforting voice, "Shhhh, Reg, it's all right, go to sleep"

The next morning he was gone.

I told I'd be fine. That was a lie. Sometimes we have to lie to protect the ones we care about. One day later I met him. We had our wands pointed at each other, and we were supposed to kill each other. We were both to proud to back down, so we sent stunners at each other, dodged and started dueling again. We both got landed in a hospital. Mine was a make shift one in Malfoy Manor, our headquarters, with Narcissa as nurse, and Sirius probably with Madame Pomphery. I think later we both started crying. I did. Because somewhere in our horrible war troubled lives we had forgotten that we were brothers.

When I think of all the times I wanted to owl an S.O.S. to Sirius asking him to get me out but didn't, I feel completely stupid. Then I feel my arm burn and I almost cry. Because I can't go back. It's too late, it's too late.


End file.
